These feelings of hurt might not be understandable to a narcissist themselves. Instead of accepting that rejection is a normal thing to be upset about, a narcissist might deny it and insist that they’re not upset, even if their behavior tells a different story. [3] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
“She doesn’t matter—there are a ton of other girls that are into me and are way hotter. ” “I don’t care about his friendship. He’s boring anyways. ” “I don’t want my daughter to call me. I’ve got enough problems of my own. ” Remember that a narcissist’s dismissal of your relationship to them says more about them than it does about you. If a narcissist says something like this, chalk it up to their own insecurities, and try to move on.
“I didn’t do anything wrong, you just expect everyone else to take care of you. ” “You’re the one who’s been selfish in this relationship. ” “It’s not my fault that you didn’t communicate better with me. ” When a narcissist shifts blame to you, it can lead you into unhealthy and guilty patterns of thinking. Spending time with other friends and family members who treat you with care can make you feel better and remind you of what good relationships look like.
After being rejected for a date, a narcissist might say, “I don’t know how you could have thought I was ever into you like that. ” If they feel rejected by a friend, a narcissist might say, “You were always trying to be my best friend, and I’m sorry I gave you a chance. ” If their child rejects them, a narcissist parent might say, “I was always the best dad to you, but you were never grateful. ” If someone is trying to gaslight you, it can be useful to talk to a friend you trust about the situation. They can give you an outside perspective that will keep you from doubting yourself.
Dealing with narcissistic rage can be very scary, and it’s important to prioritize your safety. If a narcissist is attacking you, try to deescalate the situation by telling them that you’ll revisit the conversation later, and then leave the room as quickly and safety as possible.
If someone is spreading rumors about you, try to take the high road. Doing the same thing back to a narcissist can cause them to continue to draw out their smearing campaign, so do your best to ignore what they say about you.
“I’m sorry you took things the wrong way. ” “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. ” “I’m sorry, but maybe you’re being a little too sensitive. ” There is no reason to accept a fake apology. If a narcissist tries to smooth things over with one, say something like, “I’m not ready to forgive you at the moment,” and try to end the interaction.
They might say something like, “I love and care about you so much. What can I do to make you forgive me?” A narcissist who is trying to hoover you can show genuine remorse, and say something like “I can’t believe a treated you that way. I want to earn back your trust. ” They could also decide to buy you gifts to win you back. The best way to avoid hoovering after rejecting a narcissist is to not give them the chance to suck you back in. You may want to tell the narcissist that you’re no longer willing to speak to them as often, or even go no-contact entirely.
If a narcissist’s obsessive behavior has made you uncomfortable, start by blocking them on social media and over text. If they continue to harass you, you might want to consider filing for a restraining order to get legal protection.
To stop a narcissist’s harassment, consider taking legal action. Since a narcissist doesn’t respect boundaries, it may be the best way to ensure your security. If a narcissist has escalated their abuse with threats to your physical safety, please contact the police. You have a right to live free of abuse and threats.
If a narcissist moves on a little too quickly after you reject them, think of it as a blessing in disguise. Your life will be a lot freer and more peaceful without having to attend to their needs.
